19, pansexual, overall derp
You'll mostly find both random and fandom shit here. All sorts of stuff that makes me do that "Blow-Air-Out-Your-Nose" kind of laugh.
You can read/respond to my Read Mores, but please don't reblog them!
If you pull me on your lap there is a 101% chance I’m going to make out with you.
i would advise you to avoid santa
i’ve read so much fanfiction that i am no longer attracted to boys as a woman, but as a gay male
FINALLY SOMEONE FUCKING SAID IT
Since my guinea pig passed a week ago somehow this is comforting
I support Farming.
In fact, you could call me
Be nice to Frank.
what if instead of gender we all had pokemon types
I JUST CUT MY HAND ON MY OWN BRA WTF
AND I GOT A PAPERCUT FROM THE BANDAID PACKAGING?!?!
Next Time: glassbottledemon breaks their knee on a pillow and gets pneumonia from a soothing cup of tea
The worst part is that actually once I broke my arm by tripping on a pillow and another time I got pneumonia from sharing a water bottle with someone who had it. ;U;
IM CHOKING ON MY OWN LAUGHTER
I hate when people mention someone in their life by their name without providing me with any context about who this person is.
“So Dylan and I went to yoga class yesterday — ”
Hold it right there. Who the fuck is Dylan. Your boyfriend? Your arch nemesis? Your brother? Your pet sea monkey? Your therapist? Your favourite fictional character? Are you on a first-name basis with your dad? Last-name basis with Bob? WHO THE FUCK IS DYLAN.
at my 7th grade parent teacher conference, my english teacher was telling my mom how insightful my poem was about ‘my evil twin’ and how fascinating it was that at my age i could recognize the dark parts of myself but i was just talking about my twin brother he was such a dick
why r fire extinguishers in glass cases that u have to smash?? its like u know what this fire needs?? more danger
*Remus and Tonks losing Teddy in a crowded place*
"What does your son look like?"
fyi the post that’s going around captioned “emma watson’s response to the nude photo leak threats” (or any variation thereof) of her showing her breasts isn’t real
it’s a photoshop of this picture she did for mariano vivanco and by reblogging that post you’re violating her just as much as the rest of the creeps threatening to release nude pictures of her